Joy Amidst Suffering...

We have entered the 3^rd trimester! We hit 28 weeks on Monday.  Just had both baby and mommy doctor appointments this week.  At the fetal specialist, doctor said Hallie is looking perfect, she is in the 55 percentile for growth, weighing in at 2lbs 11oz and measuring 28-29 weeks, which is right on…and is VERY active.  We saw her open her eyes, yawn, and move her hands in front of her face to tell us to leave her alone :)… We also saw some hair poking off the back of her head…never saw that on any of Avery’s sonos so maybe that means this child is going to have a lot of hair, I can’t wait to see what color it will be!  We go back in a month (32 weeks) and then will start seeing him every week until delivery.  My doctor, Dr. Robbins, says everything looks great with me and she is very pleased.  I will be seeing her every other week now.  We have had a series of great weeks, praise God!

I believe we truly are experiencing the meaning of what joy amidst suffering is like…Such an extremely difficult concept for people to grasp.  Easier said than done, believe me I know, but when you immerse yourself in God’s word things just seem to fall into place.  Many have commented on how “strong” we are.  I sincerely thank you for those words, it feels good to hear that, I take it as a huge compliment…BUT I cannot take credit for that strength.  It is not me or Donny or anyone other than the Holy Spirit working in us, giving us that strength.  I know that for a fact.  It began to manifest in one prayer filled, emotional roller coaster of a day, the day we found out about Hallie's heart, and we have not been the same since…

I attend a bible study through Christ Chapel called Women in the Word.  Last week we talked about suffering.  I feel that maybe the Lord’s whole reason behind moving me to sign up for this bible study was for this particular lesson.  It was over Psalm 77.  It spoke to me very strongly.  A couple of passages brought to light were James 1:2-4 and Romans 5:1-5.  I know the Lord is working in our lives because prior to this experience I did NOT get the idea that anyone could have joy when they are suffering…at. all.  How in the world can you be happy when you are hurting? Followed closely by all the “Why” questions you can think of…like, “Why is this happening to us? Why does my baby have to go through this? Why would God punish us like this?  Why won’t He just take this away?”  I began to search for the answers to these questions because, for me, the cliché answers just weren’t cutting it this time.  I didn’t have to search very long because God answered almost as soon as I asked.

I have always believed in God and understood how powerful prayer is, I do believe the bible is an accurate account of God’s word, I do believe what my Pastor says, and trust what my parents and grandparents have always told me…but there comes a time when we question things and sometimes you need to research these questions for yourself, the wealth of knowledge you gain when doing so is priceless…I learned so much more than I expected!

 

My sermon notes from Women in the Word sum it up perfectly...

Suffering 101:

• God doesn't usually take us out of our suffering, as much as He takes us through our suffering. 
• Our troubles and our trials spiritually mature and complete us. 
• God's hope is that we follow His lead when we find ourselves on a troubled path.

 

In working through the bible study I was grabbed by the following verses.  These were taken from the Life Application Study Bible NIV:

 James 1:2-4

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

The bible explains…“We can’t really know the depth of our character until we see how we react under pressure.  It is easy to be kind to others when everything is going well, but can we still be kind when we are treated unfairly?  God wants to make us mature and complete, not to keep us from all pain.  Instead of complaining about our struggles, we should see them as opportunities for growth.  Thank God for promising to be with you in rough times.  Ask him to help you solve your problems or to give you the strength to endure them.  Then be patient. God will not leave you alone with your problems; he will stay close and help you grow.”

 

Romans 5:1-5

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.  And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.


The bible explains… “In these verses we are introduced to some difficult concepts.  It helps to keep in mind the two-sided reality of the Christian life.  On the one hand, we are complete in Christ (our acceptance with him is secure). On the other hand, we are growing in Christ (we are becoming more and more like him).  We feel both the presence of Christ and the pressure of sin.  We enjoy the peace that comes from being made right with God, but we still face daily problems that often help us grow.  If we remember these two sides of the Christian life, we will not grow discouraged as we face temptations and problems.  Instead, we will learn to depend on the power available to us from Christ, who lives in us by the Holy Spirit.”

  

In searching for the answers we are filling our minds and our hearts with His word and gaining a greater understanding of how he works and building a deeper more meaningful relationship with Him.  Our joy is celebrated through small victories.  We rejoice in the little things.  We appreciate every day moments.  We have slowed down and taken more time to see our life for what it is.  Isn’t this what the Lord wants for us anyway?  Yes.  Isn’t this how we should be living?  Yes.  Why haven’t we done this in the past…well, I could probably go into a whole book about this but the important thing is that we are here now and are very thankful that we are.  He has worked through us, through our suffering, to achieve these things for us… to make us see, to make us trust in him.  Suffering is part of humanity…everyone will suffer (Christians and non-Christians alike)…at different times in our lives…in different ways…ours is beginning now…the blessing in this, is that we get to experience a deeper relationship with Him now rather than later…He will get us through...He will not leave us alone.  For many people, a deep spiritual journey begins when a hardship or crisis arises…I can admit that is what it took for us...which is completely normal…that too is human...the important thing is that we grow from it.  I accept that Hallie is the reasoning for ours and am blessed by it even though with it brings pain.  Joy amidst suffering…

 

Thank you Lord for being so faithful and compassionate and allowing us to witness your miraculous works.  We appreciate being able to reflect on your past workings in our lives and recognize the blessings you have given us.  This provides us with proof that you are there and alleviates any doubt we may have about the future.  May we find our strength in you, that we may persevere through this trial, and grow rich in your word.  In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Awareness...

February is American Heart month.  This month the nation pushes recognition and awareness of all things HEART.  Today begins CHD Awareness week, February 7 -14.  CHD stands for Congenital Heart Defect.  This, of course, means more to us now than it ever has in the past.  Awareness is important people!  I, for one, never really thought about CHD’s prior to this, never really heard much about it.  Sure we hear about “heart disease” in adults and “birth defects” in children but rarely do I hear anything about “heart defects” in children… which is one reason why it was so shocking to us that our child has one.  Surprisingly, CHD’s are THE #1 birth defect in children and occur in almost 1% of all births, which are approximately 40,000 births a year.  CHDs are also the most common cause of death in infant births due to birth defects…primarily because of unawareness. Doctors do not routinely check for heart defects, only if they are clearly present on a sonogram, like the heart is on the wrong side of the body (which happens more than we think)…or if you have an existing condition that requires a detailed sonogram (such as in our case with MTHFR), are these defects caught...though many are hard to detect even on a sono.  Many of these babies look and act perfectly normal in utero.  My Hallie sure does…she measures perfect, has a normal heart rate and she moves and kicks A LOT!  I would not know any different.  Makes me thankful I have a weird blood disorder that requires a more detailed sono J.  It is our responsibility to put checks in place, to push for those checks to be mandatory, just ask your doctors to take a closer look.  You can also check by requesting your doctor do a 45 second "pulse ox" before leaving the hospital with your newborn.  It is a small device that goes on the babies foot, nothing invasive, very simple to do, simply checks their oxygen levels.  The statistics really are staggering… CHDs are as common as autism and 25 times as common as cystic fibrosis, both of which I know all of us have heard of…so why are we not as aware of congenital heart defects?  We need to push awareness, so that more funding is available, so that we can have more checks in place, so that we can save more tiny lives in the future.


All of my statistical data was pulled from this fact sheet put out by Mended Little Hearts, some of these facts and statistics are shocking to me.  Please take a look when you have a chance:
http://mendedlittlehearts.org/Docs/Facts%20&%20Statistics%20About%20CHD.pdf



1981 was the year of the first successful Norwood procedure (1^st of 3 surgeries) performed on a newborn baby.  Just 33 years ago.  I am 34.  In my short lifetime an entire world was created just for these heart babies and their families.  How amazing is that?! The support and resources available for coping with this diagnosis are astounding.  We are very blessed to be a part of such a strong and positive support system… from the doctors and nurses, to the support groups, to our family and friends. Thank you all.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."  Proverbs 4:23

"A heart at peace gives life to the body..." Proverbs 14:30

"When a man is gloomy, everything seems to go wrong; when he is cheerful and full of hope, everything seems right."  Proverbs 15:15

"A cheerful heart is good medicine." Proverbs 17:22

“Be Still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

Thank GOD ALMIGHTY for modern medicine.  Thank you for those special people who make it their life's work to find ways to help tiny babies thrive and live outside their mother's womb when not so long ago they would not have stood a chance. Thank you for the families who commit time and energy to support each other and this cause.  Thank you for providing us with the hope, peace, and strength to deal with this situation on a daily basis.  I ask that you continue to bless us with these things as we continue to be still and listen to what you have to say and watch how your miraculous works affect our lives.  We could not do it without you. Amen.